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Well, I woke up sober and deleted this, just like I remember saying I would. Yionk!

I’m depressed

Hi, i’m depressed. I don’t give a damn about anything right now. I feel like worthless crap. 

Personality traits I just can’t stand…

I’m a pretty sociable kid. I basically get along with everyone, and I don’t hold too many beefs.

However, there are a few types of personalities I just can’t stand. I try to give these people the benefit of the doubt, but it’s no use. Anyway, I’ve run across these types of people at one time or another, and I’ve made a couple categories:

The Playfully Violent Youth: These are the guys who punch you, smash you, tackle you, and violate you in an aggressive physical manner for no particular reason. At first, you think they’re just “being boys,” but then you realize that they’re using their playful attitude as an excuse to be violent. It’s like they’re trying to prove something by punching you full-force in the gut, or smashing your nuts. In the past, I would just smile and play along, but my recent irritability has forced me to lash back, resulting in a public display of profanity. On a side note, I do tell them to cut it out, but they don’t listen. Piss heads. Grow an IQ.   

The Social Anti-Social Types: I can’t help but feel sorry for these kids. I don’t really understand them completely, but they annoy the festering hell out of me nonetheless. These are the people who kind of follow you around at social events, and just look at you and smile (or sometimes they turn their head when you look at them). It’s like they want to be social, but they don’t know how to be. Every time you try to make conversation, they look at you like you’re crazy. It’s like everything you’re saying isn’t registering. Kind of creepy. It’s like, “Hey man, I know you don’t have any friends. I’m just trying to be a little nice, and you look at me like I’m crazy?” Every time I run in to these people, I have a gut feeling they have a “Top 100 People I Want to Kill Slowly” list hidden under their bed (and an IQ of at least 140).  

The Pseudo/semi-sociopath: I’ve only encountered these types of kids a couple times in my life. These are the kids that when you first meet them, you’re like, “Wow. This kid’s pretty cool!” They’re usually pretty charismatic, and they appear to be ultra-friendly (a little too friendly). As you continue to spend time with these people, you notice something just doesn’t feel right. The pseudo-sociopath pretends to like you, and even goes to the extent of lying to gain you’re trust. They may pretend to share your interests and/or opinions, and may even put you on a pedestal just to please your ego. Another thing that pisses me off about these types of people is that they’re pathological liars. They lie all the time, and 90% of the time, I know when some one’s lying. I spent a good amount of my childhood doing nothing but lying and making up random crap, so I know a BSer when I see one. I don’t know what these fools are after, but it’s apparent they just want to manipulate you (for fun?). One day, they’ll be your friend — the next day, they can’t stand you. If you ever run into one of these jokers, and you know they’re BSing you, just play along. They’ll notice you’re playing along, and they’ll get annoyed and irritated. Narcissistic, egocentric fakes (Oh wait, I am one! Oops! Just kidding).

The Over-Critical Jackasses: You can always find these people putting you down and insulting you for every minor mistake you make. They point out every insignificant flaw you have just because. These people are expert jackballs. It’s painfully apparent they’re insecure, which leaves more openings for you to retaliate. They diss on you and expect you to just laugh it off. Well, unfortunately, laughing it off gets boring, and you want to show them what it’s like to be constantly harassed. It’s not like you’re being mean for the sake of retaliation, you’re just showing them what it’s like to be picked on all the time. It’s purely for educational purposes.  These types of people consist of the following:

Fat girls: They are self-conscious, insecure, and depressed. They try to make themselves feel better by pretending they’re superior. If you point this out, I can guarantee they’ll shut up in a hurry (or cry, which is funnier).

Insecure girls in general: Even attractive girls (or average looking girls) are insecure, due to the the harassment they receive from their fat, self-loathing friends. These ones are usually not as annoying as their overweight peers, but annoying nonetheless. You can actually improve on their condition if you work hard enough on them (think positive!).  

Nerds: I’m a nerd. Well, at least I enjoy nerdish projects, usually related to the computer. If you ever saw me, you’d never guess I was even into computers, which usually works to my advantage. Unfortunately, there are those unlucky few who stand out like a sore thumb. Chances are, they’re insecure as well (I know, I’m really generalizing, but I have met teens like the ones I mentioned above at least 3 times). They also pick on you, just because you’re better looking, smarter (or not), and can kick their butt at everything they do.

Anyway, just a couple types of people who really put me on edge. For the record, I enjoy the company of almost anybody, so don’t think I’m picky.

You know I’m right.

     

    

            

  

4th of July Contemplations

Okay, so tuesday was Independence Day. I’m not sure why I just wrote that, seeing as how you already knew that. I’m an idiot.

 Anyhoo, as much my parents complain about the secularization and commercialization of holidays, I love it. C’mon, Independence Day would be absolutely boring without all those expensive explosions.

Fireworks kick ass. I have yet to figure out why humans are so captivated by them. Is it the complexity and splendor of the flashes and lights? Probably.

Well, I’m bored with the complexities and splendors of flashes and lights. 

Now I take pleasure in watching fireworks/firecrackers destroying random items. Why is that? Is it my immaturity kicking in? Who knows. All I know is that this year, I got a whole lot of kicks out watching friends blow stuff up into smoldering fragments. Hahaha!  

  

Summer has to be better than this…

Okay, I shall begin with this:

Since the end of last summer, I’ve been pumped about this one. 

Well, now it’s here, and I don’t know what to do…

I’ve got a couple things planned, and here they are:

1. Computer camp: Each summer, Ivan’s parents send him off to some summer camp to keep him out of trouble (he hangs out with me, remember?). Anyway, this year, he was going to a computer camp, and begged me to come along. I’m like, “Now way, man! Like my mom’s just going to send me off to some obscure computer camp…”

Ivan: Dude, yes — come! It’s only $650! 

Brian: I don’t think so.

I suck

If there's one thing I hate about me, it's my lack to finish anything I start.

I always get great ideas and then start something amazing only to become bored with my projects. I'm always doing this, and I've been doing this since I was 7.

It all began with Legos. I'd watch a movie (ie Star Wars) and build a ship — well, at least 1/2 of a ship, and then I'd get bored with it and trash it. I'd only finish a couple of my Lego projects, and when I did, they were marvelous. Looking back, I'm surprised I could make such things with my extremely limited supply of Legos.

At age 10, I produced my own comic series entitled "Bad Cop." He was this corrupt cop who went around killing PBS Kids characters, such as Barney. He always carried around an immense arsenal of death in his trench coat, and his face was always covered by his hat. Yes, I know, I was/am a pretty disturbed kid, but what can I say. 

Anyway, by the time I finished (yes finished!) my 3rd Bad Cop episode, a few of my little psycho friends thought it was hilarious. So I made more. The only problem was I had to force myself to finish them, and as a result, the endings were really sloppy and abrupt. Every time I was half way done with one of my comics, I'd think of a better idea and then halt my current project. 

Anyway, that was a while ago. Now my little hobby is Flash 8, a program that is designed to build the little web-browser games/movies you play/watch on http://www.newgrounds.com. I can do just about anything I want with it, which makes things even harder for me. I've only completed/published 1 game, and I've started a hundred and two. As of now, I'm working on my first cartoon which is going too well. I'm also half way done with the cartoon-based game, which I'm doing at the same time. Well, as you've guessed, I'm getting REALLY bored with these projects, and I've got a million other ideas in my head. This time, however, I'm actually going to complete them, and I'm going to force myself to do a good job.       

Well, after contemplating all this, I've come up with a disturbing question: Am I going to be this way the rest of my life? If so, is this going to destroy my dreams of becoming an animator/artist/game developer? If I have major trouble finishing my projects, how is this going to affect my career life? ARRHHHGGG!

It's so annoying!

WordPress makes me happy.

EDIT: Um, for some reason, this post decided to randomly display. This was the first post I intended to show, but it never got posted due to some errors with wordpress. Well, now it's here.  

Hello. This was at first an experimental WordPress blog, but now it has evolved into something much different: A blog dedicated to me posting thoughts and contemplations I normally wouldn't on Blog Hogger. As a matter of fact, I'm considering moving Blog Hogger over to wordpress.  More later, fecal brains.  

I love judgemental people.

 People are so stupid and predictable*. It's a known fact that people judge. Some people judge because they think they have everything (or many things) figured out, and everyone judges because its a natural instinct. People judge you on how you dress, how you wear your hair, what kind of music you listen to, what kind of movies you watch, what kind of internet sites you read, what kind of games you play, what kind of sports you play, what kind of friends you hang out with, and your speech patterns (there is a million other things people judge you on, of course). Of course, just because people judge doesn't mean they are necessarily wrong…but most of the time they are.

Of course, some people judge a little more than the rest of us do. Some people believe they actually have the authority to judge other people. These people usually judge you within the first few minutes of observing you and automatically come to a conclusion. They leave little room for other possibilities. These people tend to be somewhat weak minded (in my opinion [after all, I'm intellectually superior to everyone ] ). Let's call these people "uber-judges." Many of these "uber-judges" come from isolated communities and/or environments, and many of these people are either religious or political in the true lockstep fashion (I probably didn't use 'lockstep' in the right way).

Personally, I can't stand these types of people, and I enjoy "messing" with them. For instance, if I know someone is an uber-judge (because I judged them), I sometimes might act a certain way to make them categorize me immediately, and then later completely destroy their perception of me. I know, it probably isn't fair of me, but I do it anyway cuz' I can't stand people who close their minds off to other possibilities.  

You know what, I think I love being judged. I think I'm going to pierce my lip (for real). That would be awesome. I'm sure a lot of my friends would think that's against my nature, but in reality, my nature is always changing (depending on what mood I'm in).    

*NOTE: I say so many people are stupid and predictable because you can act a certain way and someone automatically labels you (and rarely considers other possibilities).

I’m all happy now!

Okay, yesterday was a really weird day for me emotional wise. I began the day in an angry mood, and around noon, I hung with a couple of friends, which seemed to help.

Now I'm much gooder.