Another homosexual survey to pass the time…

EDIT: Nevermind. The survey wasn’t display properly, therefore I deleted it.

:)

Well, I’m in an exceptionally good mood today! It’s been a while since I’ve actually wanted to talk to other people.

Let’s see if it lasts.

Thoughts on high school relationships…

Some of my friends are wondering why I’m not in a real relationship with a girl. Well, to be quite honest, it’s because I’m gay. Just kidding.

I’ve thought of that myself. I love girls as does every teenage male — both physically and emotionally. However, I can’t see the point in starting a relationship with one at this point of my life.

Highschool relationships are pointless, to put it simply. Why invest time, energy, and emotions in something that won’t last more than a year (at the most)?  You invest all your emotions in one person, only to lose the person shortly after. Why even start a relationship if you know there’s going to be an emotion shit-fest when it’s over?? Just avoid it all together. 

“But Brian, my friend has been going out with this girl for 3 & 1/2 years, so your statement about them lasting only a year is false! lol”

The longer the HS relationship, the worse off you’re going to be. If your HS relationship has lasted more than 3 years, than it’s at it’s clingy stage. That is, you’ve been with that girl for so long you couldn’t possibly imagine breaking up with her. Well, my friend, it’s going to happen. It’s inevitable. HS relationships weren’t meant to last, and only a small handful of HS lovers actually have a lasting married relationship. The longer you stay with a girl, the more it’s going to hurt when you break up. Simple as that.

That’s why friends-with-benefits is a great idea. In theory, it should work. HS friendships last much longer than romantic ones. Therefore, if you form a strong friendship with a girl and leave out all that mushy “we’ll always be together” crap, and incorporate hugs, kisses, or sex (if you aren’t against premarital sex), then in theory, the relationship would last as long as a good friendship would, and you’d still get physical benefits of a romantic relationship.

“wOOt, Brian, I found a flaw in your logic! Friendships also end, and there’s emotional hurt in them as well!”

True. But haven’t you noticed that when two friends fight, they almost always get back together? With romantic relationships, a few screw-ups, a few rough moments, and the relationship is over. Friendships have a much better chance lasting than pure romantic HS relationships (and most are just PURE ROMANTIC FEELINGS etc).  

Of course, FWB relationships probably don’t work out, seeing as how the girl would eventually want to form a real romantic relationship after a while (they like the idea of commitments, even if they know deep down inside it ain’t gonna’ last more than a year). And then you’re stuck in the whole HS relationship thing. It’s better to just avoid HS relationships all together, maybe.     

God is dead to me.

I don’t usually like to talk about my life (especially the negative aspects of it — people judge you too quickly if you do), but since this blog receives practically no hits, I don’t have any issues discussing it. My parents don’t read this, so I don’t see why I can’t speak my mind. I usually don’t speak my mind with them, because I can predict exactly what they’re going to say. 

Anyway,  as of now, I have no emotional or spiritual connection God, or anything related to Him. Quite simply, I feel no guilt when I sin. For instance, if I robbed a store right now, got ridiculously high, and cussed my parents out, I really wouldn’t feel bad about it. Even if I engaged in compulsive masturbatory habits, I wouldn’t feel ashamed. I just don’t care anymore, and I don’t really know why. A few months ago, my dad confronted me about my disregard for “divine authority”, and stated that “my problems go way passed psychological” and that I was “spiritually dead.” Um, no shit.

It’s not that I don’t believe in God, or that I hate Him, I simply don’t care. Dad even went as far as to say that I was going to hell if I did not change my ways. I don’t disagree with him, I just don’t care. Obviously, I must not be comprehending the gravity of the situation. o_O

Frequent stops at confession, Mass, and various Catholic youth activities haven’t had an impact on me at all. I’m beginning to despise going to Catholic youth groups because I feel out of place. I just simply don’t fit in, mainly because they live their faith, and I don’t. 

Eh, it’s probably only a stage. I’m sure many people go through this.    

Me updates

My life is at an all time bore. In other words, I’ve spent minimal time with friends, I’ve gained weight (some ab-flab), and I’m grounded. Kind of. 

At least I’m not too depressed. Despite my shitty month I’ve been in a relatively good mood. Last month, a lot of drama occurred. I was constantly getting in fights with my parents, getting drunk, and just plain depressed. I became introverted, angry, and emotionally dead. I honestly didn’t care what happened to me. I was intentionally screwing up my life, and I don’t really know why.

Recently, I’ve been getting along with my parents. My relationship with them has always been of a love/hate nature, and as of now, it’s in it’s “love” faze.

More later. Too lazy to write.

Survey Number Three

ABOUT YOURSELF…VERY LONG
Just some basic info about you
name::	Brian
middle name::	Cyprian
lastname::	Tougas
age::	15
sex::	No thanks. My hand will do just fine.
I live in::	Western Washington.
Contact Infomation
AIM SCREEN NAME::	briansizzle13
YAHOO SCREEN NAME::	Yahoo sucks.
MSN SCREEN NAME::	hog_the_blog @ hotmail dot come
ICQ NUMBER::	ICQ sucks.
ANY OTHER INSTANT MESSENGING NAMES::	Blah.
E-MAIL ADRESS::	Suuurrreeeee…
PHONE NUMBER::	I have a funny feeling you’re a 45-year-old man.
FAVORITE THINGS
Favorite Computer Game::	Half-life 2.
Favorite Game system Game::	Super Smash Bros/Halo/MegaManX
Favorite Reality TV show::	When you said “reality,” what you really meant was staged bullshit.
Favorite Reality TV Show #2::	No. Just no.
Favorite Cartoon::	Spongebob
Second favorite cartoon::	Family Guy
Favorite Movie::	No.
Second Favorite Movie::	No.
Favorite website::	Maddox/flashkit/newgrounds/ratuba world
Favorite thing to do when you’re bored::	Draw, chat with random people, and computer stuff.
Favorite Drink::	The kinds that make me diiizzzyyyy…
Second Favorite Drink::	Coke. Either that or water.
Favorite Food::	I have several.
Second Favorite Food::	o_O
sexuality prefrences
Are you single::	No, I like to think of myself as plural.
Are you taken::	No.
Are you straight::	Straight up, G.
Are you bisexual::	No.
Are you gay::	No, I’m not a homosexual.
Are you pansexual::	A little, I guess.
Are you homophobic::	No.
Do you think preps are hot::	I think I’m hot.
Do you think punks are hot::	If they’re girls. And they have large breasts. And smell good. And have cute faces. Yes.
Do you think goths are hot::	No. Period.
Do you think gangsters/pimps/players/rappers are hot::	Seeing as how they’re mostly guys, no.
Do you think ravers/candy kids are hot::	No.
If you are a guy, how big is your cock::	6 and 1/2 inches.
If you are a girl, what cup size are you::	100,000,000 inches. I’ve got problems…
Boyfriends and Girlfriends
Are you dating someone::	No.
If no, were you::	I don’t date, as a rule. It takes too much time and energy. Friends with benefits relationships are way better..
If no, have you ever dated somone::	I guess..
Have you ever broken up with anyone::	Not really…
What was your boyfriends or girlfriends name::	His name was Bruce.
How long are/were you going out::	20 years. But then he died in a horrible puma accident.
Did/do you guys hug::	For sure.
Did/do you guys kiss::	Fore sure.
Did/do you guys make out::	For sure.
Did/do you guys have sex::	All the time.
Did/do you have oragasms togther::	Triple orgasms.
Have you been to 1st base::	Um, yeah.
How about 2nd::	Yes.
3rd::	Homerun, baby.
MUSIC
Do you like heavy metal::	I love heavy metal.
Do you like punk rock::	Generally not.
Do you like gothic rock::	No.
Do you like Industrial::	Sometimes. Yes.
Do you like rap::	I like underground rap.
Do you like country::	No.
Do you like classical::	Yes.
Do you like techno::	Not usually. It’s pretty lame most of the time.
Do you like trance::	No.
Do you like pop::	Not really.
Do you like hardcore::	Hella.
Who is your favorite singer::	You mean screamer?
What is your favorite band::	System of a Down followed by Rage Against the Machine
How much hours a day do you listen to music::	I’m guessing around 1 hour…at the most.
MOVIES
Do you like comedies::	Only if their names don’t begin with Larry or Jeff. Or Dane.
Do you like dramas::	If they make me think.
Do you like scifis::	Sometimes.
Do you like anime::	Usually not. Unless it’s Gundam. That show was off the wall.
Do you like horror::	That depends..
Do you like Suspense::	Yes, I do like suspense.
Do you like action::	Most of the time. I haven’t seen a believable action movie for a while, though.
Do you like slashers::	Not really. Most of them are pretty weak..
Do you like lovie films::	NO.
Do you like Kid movies::	No, not usually.
What is your favorite movie::	Don’t. Want. To. Think. About. It.
Who is your favorite director::	No.
Why Is _________ Your favorite Movie::	No.
Why Is _________ Your favorite Director:	No.
Random Questions:
Are you bored::	Yes. And hungry.
Are you a poser::	If I choose to be.
Do you skate::	Yes. I haven’t in a while, mainly because I don’t have the means to do so.
Can you play drums::	Yes, I do. I have a snare drum down stairs.
Can you play guitar::	I can play it better than a lot of my poser friends can.
Can you play keyboards::	No…not well anyway.
What time is it::	8:40 PM
Are you happy this is almost over::	A little relieved.
C4N Y0U R34D TH15::	No, I can’t read that.
Do you have a profile at www.vampirefreaks.com::	Never heard of it.
If not, you should get one::	Yeah…NO.
Rap Sucks::	Only mainstream rap.
Evanesence are posers::	I wouldn’t know.
Amy Lee is a bitch::	This survey was obviously written by a female.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink – The Original Survey Site

Survey Number Two

The Awesomeness of You
What’s your name?:	Brian
How old are you?:	15
Just how awesome do you think you are?:	On a scale of 1 to 10, probably 100,000,000,000.39495
What would you do if I told you that you suck?:	I’d ask you what you thought I sucked.
You suck.:	Your mom.
Well… what makes you awesome?:	My charming, charismatic personality.
No it doesn’t.:	How would you know? I don’t believe we’ve met.
Give me a real answer!:	What in your opinion constitutes as a “real” answer?
Is there anything that’s really odd about you?:	Other than my personality? No, not really.
Do you like squirls?:	I like hurting squirrels.
I kill them… hehehe.:	Really?? Me too! I have a feeling we’d get along just fine…
How often do people tell you you’re awesome?:	Actually, more than you’d expect.
liar!:	I want irrefutable evidence.
Are you a boy or a girl?:	Boy.
are you sure?:	My penis is 6 1/2 inches long.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink – The Original Survey Site

Survey Number One

The Deep Survey
Your inner self
What is your biggest dream?:	To be somewhat successful in life…well, at least to the point of where I can live a comfortable life and spend money on my interests, and be somewhat famous.
What is your worst fear?:	I’m not sure.
What do you think of when you think of being alone?:	Finding something to entertain myself with. Why?
Does blood scare you/make you sick?:	Not really – maybe if it’s someone I really like.
Do you have morbid thoughts?:	All the time.
Do you remember when you lost your innocence?:	“innocents” is relative. Probably 9 – I’m not sure.
What is the worst trait a person can have?:	Pervasively critical/nitpick-y/mopey
Do you know who you are?:	Yes, although sometimes “me” seems to be constantly changing depending on my environment.
What is your worst addiction?:	Don’t have one. I’ve got a million bad habits, but I wouldn’t call them “addictions”
Do you hide who you really are to keep your family happy?:	I don’t care if my family is happy, unless it directly affects me.
Would you die for another person if it saved their life?:	Maybe. Depends on who it was.
Do you cry when a disaster happens in the world?:	Hell no. I really couldn’t care less.
If you could go back and change one thing from your past, what would it be?:	Probably some really gay cloths I bought. What was I thinking?
Do you ever lie to make someone happy?:	I have.
If you could cure one disease, what would it be and why?:	Probably cancer, so I wouldn’t have to listen to all those pathetic cancer fund commercials. They suck.
What do you hate the most about yourself?:	Nothing really.
What do you love the most about yourself?:	Everything.
Do you contemplate life after death, and what do you conclude when you do?:	I conclude that there is life after death. End.
How do you think your karma is doing? Good or bad?:	On a scale of 1 to 10, probably -5.
If you could live a different life from birth to now, what would it be?:	Non-religious family, or perhaps more gullible parents.
Do you believe your dreams/nightmares hold truth?:	Depends on if anything spiritual influenced them.
Do you think human life is too short? Why or why not?:	That question is too large to answer in the limited spaces of this text box.
Would you prefer to have a shorter life with no chance of healh issues?:	No.
How do you think humanity will end? why?:	I personally believe it will die from ideological corruption. Our flawed ideals and destructive reasoning will eventually lead to our doom. Dum-dum-ddduuum.
Would you rather live forever in a bunker, or die in a nuclear blast?:	I’d like to live in a bunker until I can’t stand it anymore, and then die in a nuclear blast.
What is your worst death you can imagine for yourself?:	A scary one.
How would you “prefer” to die, what age?:	I would like to be assassinated for personal beliefs, preferably after age 60. I’d also like a lot of media coverage, and my name in wikipedia.
Do you believe that herbal medicines are just as good as chemicle?:	It depends on the medicine.
Have you ever done acid/LSD/Shrooms? What was your worst trip?:	No. I don’t think I’ll ever mess with that.
What was your best trip?:	Vancouver BC. And yes, I am playing dumb…
Describe the scenario that allows you to best get in touch with yourself.:	I’m always in touch with myself. I always know my motives and logic.
Do you believe in destiny? What is yours?:	I believe there is a God who determines your path(s) in life.
Can music really heal us?:	In an emotional sense, I suppose. It’s never healed me before.
If you could be told your future in detail, would you want to know?:	Wait a second – If I knew every aspect of my future, wouldn’t me knowing it automatically alter it? I’m not sure…I’ll have to think about it.
If you had 5 more days to live before you died, what would you do?:	Pray. Either that or get really high.
Do you believe that animals have souls?:	..Well, animal souls anyway. Nothing compared to human souls.
Have you ever felt immortal? when/why.:	I think I was drunk.
What was your favourite childhood game?:	I didn’t have a childhood. I’ve always been 15.
What person are you most affraid of and why?:	Well, I used to be afraid of my dad, if you could believe that.
Have you ever thought of harming another person?:	Um, yes. Who hasn’t?
Do you have some memories that never actually happened in your past?:	One or two – but they’re rather trivial.
If so, do you believe they are from a past life?:	I’ve thought of that before, and then had a magical brick fall from the sky and knocked some sense into me.
When are you most happy?:	When I’m a positive center of attention.
Do you prefer these surveys, or do you like the fluffy cute ones better?:	I enjoyed this one better, mostly.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink – The Original Survey Site

Boo.

I think for the foreseeable future, I’m going to post Internet surveys — kinda’ like the ones you see everyone posting on myspace.com, if you have one, which you shouldn’t. Yeah…

yes

okay I said I was gonna got to bed, but I just read the blog stats, and they say that I’ve only had 383 hits so far, which means nobody reads this blog, which means i can right whatever the hell I want. BOEOEEOEO