I don’t usually like to talk about my life (especially the negative aspects of it — people judge you too quickly if you do), but since this blog receives practically no hits, I don’t have any issues discussing it. My parents don’t read this, so I don’t see why I can’t speak my mind. I usually don’t speak my mind with them, because I can predict exactly what they’re going to say.
Anyway, as of now, I have no emotional or spiritual connection God, or anything related to Him. Quite simply, I feel no guilt when I sin. For instance, if I robbed a store right now, got ridiculously high, and cussed my parents out, I really wouldn’t feel bad about it. Even if I engaged in compulsive masturbatory habits, I wouldn’t feel ashamed. I just don’t care anymore, and I don’t really know why. A few months ago, my dad confronted me about my disregard for “divine authority”, and stated that “my problems go way passed psychological” and that I was “spiritually dead.” Um, no shit.
It’s not that I don’t believe in God, or that I hate Him, I simply don’t care. Dad even went as far as to say that I was going to hell if I did not change my ways. I don’t disagree with him, I just don’t care. Obviously, I must not be comprehending the gravity of the situation. o_O
Frequent stops at confession, Mass, and various Catholic youth activities haven’t had an impact on me at all. I’m beginning to despise going to Catholic youth groups because I feel out of place. I just simply don’t fit in, mainly because they live their faith, and I don’t.
Eh, it’s probably only a stage. I’m sure many people go through this.
