4th of July Contemplations

Okay, so tuesday was Independence Day. I’m not sure why I just wrote that, seeing as how you already knew that. I’m an idiot.

 Anyhoo, as much my parents complain about the secularization and commercialization of holidays, I love it. C’mon, Independence Day would be absolutely boring without all those expensive explosions.

Fireworks kick ass. I have yet to figure out why humans are so captivated by them. Is it the complexity and splendor of the flashes and lights? Probably.

Well, I’m bored with the complexities and splendors of flashes and lights. 

Now I take pleasure in watching fireworks/firecrackers destroying random items. Why is that? Is it my immaturity kicking in? Who knows. All I know is that this year, I got a whole lot of kicks out watching friends blow stuff up into smoldering fragments. Hahaha!  

  

Summer has to be better than this…

Okay, I shall begin with this:

Since the end of last summer, I’ve been pumped about this one. 

Well, now it’s here, and I don’t know what to do…

I’ve got a couple things planned, and here they are:

1. Computer camp: Each summer, Ivan’s parents send him off to some summer camp to keep him out of trouble (he hangs out with me, remember?). Anyway, this year, he was going to a computer camp, and begged me to come along. I’m like, “Now way, man! Like my mom’s just going to send me off to some obscure computer camp…”

Ivan: Dude, yes — come! It’s only $650! 

Brian: I don’t think so.

I suck

If there's one thing I hate about me, it's my lack to finish anything I start.

I always get great ideas and then start something amazing only to become bored with my projects. I'm always doing this, and I've been doing this since I was 7.

It all began with Legos. I'd watch a movie (ie Star Wars) and build a ship — well, at least 1/2 of a ship, and then I'd get bored with it and trash it. I'd only finish a couple of my Lego projects, and when I did, they were marvelous. Looking back, I'm surprised I could make such things with my extremely limited supply of Legos.

At age 10, I produced my own comic series entitled "Bad Cop." He was this corrupt cop who went around killing PBS Kids characters, such as Barney. He always carried around an immense arsenal of death in his trench coat, and his face was always covered by his hat. Yes, I know, I was/am a pretty disturbed kid, but what can I say. 

Anyway, by the time I finished (yes finished!) my 3rd Bad Cop episode, a few of my little psycho friends thought it was hilarious. So I made more. The only problem was I had to force myself to finish them, and as a result, the endings were really sloppy and abrupt. Every time I was half way done with one of my comics, I'd think of a better idea and then halt my current project. 

Anyway, that was a while ago. Now my little hobby is Flash 8, a program that is designed to build the little web-browser games/movies you play/watch on http://www.newgrounds.com. I can do just about anything I want with it, which makes things even harder for me. I've only completed/published 1 game, and I've started a hundred and two. As of now, I'm working on my first cartoon which is going too well. I'm also half way done with the cartoon-based game, which I'm doing at the same time. Well, as you've guessed, I'm getting REALLY bored with these projects, and I've got a million other ideas in my head. This time, however, I'm actually going to complete them, and I'm going to force myself to do a good job.       

Well, after contemplating all this, I've come up with a disturbing question: Am I going to be this way the rest of my life? If so, is this going to destroy my dreams of becoming an animator/artist/game developer? If I have major trouble finishing my projects, how is this going to affect my career life? ARRHHHGGG!

It's so annoying!