Erhg. I was two inches from being totally FUCKED.
So this has been one of those weeks that feels like an eternity. I’ve fought with my parents every single waking moment, and it’s wearing everyone down, and driving me to psychopathy.
Anyway, I almost gave up hope entirely.
Firstly, my younger brother was recently enrolled into Intensive Outpatient — a rehabilitation program for druggies. His condition is partially…well, mostly my fault for giving him greater access to drugs and alcohol and initially exposing him to all of it. He went waaayyy overboard several times almost died a few months ago. Finally, he got caught at school for the 4th time and has to do treatment.
According to the assessment, he had done to his body what a 21-year-old male shooting up heroine does to his. Not cool. Especially since I was with him 70% of the time he got fucked up.
And as of yesterday, my parents are inches away from enrolling me too. Luckily, I temporarily charmed my way out of it, but I’m certainly safe yet. Various drug counselors are trying to convince my mom that I have serious substance abuse problems, which isn’t entirely true. Am I an addict? I don’t know. Is my brother? Yes. All is behavior points to one: He’s stolen hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol from stores, overdosed at least twice on medication and alcohol, and has supposedly caused brain damage through excessive drinking.
I’ve experimented with opiates (oxys, percs, smoked pure opium), smoke weed everyday, messed with hallucinogens, and I have overdosed (although my parents don’t know), but as of now, drugs aren’t controlling my life. Earlier this year, I was definitely engaging in addict behavior. Drinking, smoking, and snorting EVERY OTHER day. As of three months ago, I haven’t done any hard drugs. I’m content with smoking da’ reefer, although I realize I need to cut back. I’m noticing my cognitive abilities being hindered significantly, and I’m having difficulty retaining information. It’s inconvenient to say the least. Definitely not as bad as going through treatment, though.
Had I been enrolled in treatment, the chances of landing a job, maintaining a social life/grades, and generally having free time would be SHOT. It would make my life worse than it already is. NA/AA meetings, UA’s, etc…
More later…
February 9, 2008 at 6:59 am
Brian, I am only going to say this once, and pray that you are open to hearing it. I know that if you are not, nothing I can say will make one iota of difference. All I can do is say my piece and hope you will consider it.
Dude, WHAT are you doing?
Seriously.
I’m only going to say this one time. If you are not an addict (there is no way I can make such a diagnosis long-distance) yet, I can say with authority that you are well on the road to becoming so. All the depressants listed above have significant addictive features. Overdosing is considered by some to be a sign of addiction.
While it is true that hallucinogens and pot are not addictive, they present their own concerns.
Hallucinogens severely impede judgment. While the drug itself may not cause damage (though you don’t say WHAT you’ve taken), actions resulting from the subsequent impaired judgment CAN cause harm. I can quote you a story of a fool tripping on acid who decided he could fly.
So he flapped out of a 5th story window, with the predictable results.
Pot is far more dangerous than tobacco to the lungs, and you yourself have noted how it impedes memory function and saps the user of any sense of self-motivation. All stoners want to do it toke up, indulge in their munchies, and stare at the wall.
NOT a productive use of your intellect, my friend.
If you don’t want to go through treatment, then STOP USING!!! Right now.
If you don’t, treatment may then be forced upon you. If you don’t want it, show how you don’t need it. The only way to do that is to stop using.
As for the relationship with your parents, I can only assume that the friction coming about is a result of their care and concern for you and their desire to provide what is best for you, your body, spirit and soul. Drugs provide NOTHING for any of those facets of your being. They really do want what is best for you, as do I.
You want to talk more, you know where to find me. Drop me a line if you like; we can chat, phone, whatever. I’m here to listen, and I promise not to preach anything new to you unless you ask for it explicitly.
But dude, seriously. Stop now.
Love in Christ,
-Hoody
February 20, 2008 at 5:45 am
“So he flapped out of a 5th story window, with the predictable results.”
Sorry, you’ve lost me. So what happened to him? :p jk
Hoody, thanks a lot for the honest advice — I did take it into deep consideration. I’m doing better now, and I haven’t smoked in a while, and feel no need to as of now (I don’t know what the future will hold).
I’ve found that along with amount of money you have to spend on it, weed is an immense waste of TIME.
That’s the main reason I’m distancing myself from it.
anyway, thanks again
Brian
February 25, 2008 at 1:07 am
Basically, I’m just hoping everything comes out OK. I’m praying for you.
February 25, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Pot is indeed a waste of time.
as for what the future holds, YOU are in charge of that, my friend. Use it and plan for it well.
-hoody
April 30, 2008 at 7:47 pm
ey fool its sebastian jost dropd in to see wuts crakn, aparanty u are. man wuts wit this drug shit dude don do this to urself ur better than that i personaly don do drugs cuz i like to live but i hav smugled in a cuple of drinks but thas not tha point. u should quit bro an do erything in your power to help even if it means rehab its a waste but a good one cuz once ur done you can get back on trak wit ur life. and btw girls try an stay away frum druggies tons hav told me so consider that.
ur homboi, sebastian