Erhg. I was two inches from being totally FUCKED.
So this has been one of those weeks that feels like an eternity. I’ve fought with my parents every single waking moment, and it’s wearing everyone down, and driving me to psychopathy.
Anyway, I almost gave up hope entirely.
Firstly, my younger brother was recently enrolled into Intensive Outpatient — a rehabilitation program for druggies. His condition is partially…well, mostly my fault for giving him greater access to drugs and alcohol and initially exposing him to all of it. He went waaayyy overboard several times almost died a few months ago. Finally, he got caught at school for the 4th time and has to do treatment.
According to the assessment, he had done to his body what a 21-year-old male shooting up heroine does to his. Not cool. Especially since I was with him 70% of the time he got fucked up.
And as of yesterday, my parents are inches away from enrolling me too. Luckily, I temporarily charmed my way out of it, but I’m certainly safe yet. Various drug counselors are trying to convince my mom that I have serious substance abuse problems, which isn’t entirely true. Am I an addict? I don’t know. Is my brother? Yes. All is behavior points to one: He’s stolen hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol from stores, overdosed at least twice on medication and alcohol, and has supposedly caused brain damage through excessive drinking.
I’ve experimented with opiates (oxys, percs, smoked pure opium), smoke weed everyday, messed with hallucinogens, and I have overdosed (although my parents don’t know), but as of now, drugs aren’t controlling my life. Earlier this year, I was definitely engaging in addict behavior. Drinking, smoking, and snorting EVERY OTHER day. As of three months ago, I haven’t done any hard drugs. I’m content with smoking da’ reefer, although I realize I need to cut back. I’m noticing my cognitive abilities being hindered significantly, and I’m having difficulty retaining information. It’s inconvenient to say the least. Definitely not as bad as going through treatment, though.
Had I been enrolled in treatment, the chances of landing a job, maintaining a social life/grades, and generally having free time would be SHOT. It would make my life worse than it already is. NA/AA meetings, UA’s, etc…
More later…
