So no, I don’t think half of the people commenting are ‘covert narcissists’. People talk very freely about themselves on the internet, but I don’t think half of you are as painful to be around as you all think (or like to think) you are.

To all CN’s:
All kidding aside, narcissists – particularly covert ones – are capable of unparalelled cruelty to their dear ones and others. Ultimately, Neil Entwistle displayed this. You may pull off and benefit briefly from the cruel hijinks, but remember – no one has ever successfully proved that there is no GOD. Your personal “belief” does not make God’s existence real or not real – so you may have pulled off some spectacular stunts but in the end, when you die, you just may face the ultimate Judge that knows all. What will you do then? Isn’t it a bit short-sighted to only care about what you can get away with here and now? If you all were really as smart as you think yourselves to be – and many of you may be – why the stupidity of not betting on the Future? Like “Pascal’s wager,” if there is no God, you and I are no worse off – we’re all 6-ft under and that’s it. But if there is a God, you’ve doomed yourself for eternity, not me. Why do that? It’s just a bad bet, and not “smart.” I am not intending to evangelize here – I just see the narcissist’s destruction and culpability and I see stupidity, not “smart.” Think about it.

Alex

I use people, in the worst way–women, especially. I know I’ve got them when they say I’m “cute.” This word has a lot of power in my universe. It signifies that I’m able to continually and easily charm them–while abusing them–while using it to appear innocent in doing so. “Oh, I didn’t mean to do that! Aren’t I just so cute?” The process is gross; I’m disgusting. This cycle has to stop. But can it?

“Incurable,” to me, has always been bullshit, regarding this personality disorder, anyway. The fact that Covert Narcissism is now being diagnosed suggests that Narcissism is an evolving condition, and that this version is more tolerable than it’s predecessor. And a glance to all the confessions of the bloggers on this page is an even greater demonstration–given that N’s are supposedly unable to “see” their wrongdoing.

The suggestion (which evolved to an emphatic accusation accompanied with an ultimatum) that I am a CN was made by my girlfriend. She’s very smart and nurturing and somewhat older (Narcissus found his mummy!), and, by displaying remarkable patience, was able to pound the term against my head long enough for me to seriously question myself. I recall that, on several occasions, I’d react to her claims with a stubborn, flaming rage in my stomach that screamed “shut up; you don’t know me!!” After I’d recognize it–if it hurts, it’s probably true–I’d begin to spin her to my win-her-back scenario.

“Piss ‘em of and win ‘em back” is what she claims is the revolution of my personality. After I go so far to offend a target, and s/he can no longer stand my behavior, I play nice-and-cute-guy, again. It’s the “night and day” to my “split personality.” It’s what I use to keep as much focus (of myself and those around me), on me. Even negative attention is sought, as it too provides Narcissistic Supply. If, in every situation, all eyes are on me then everything during that situation revolves around me. And if I can involve myself in every situation, the world revolves around me–the world is mine.

As ridiculous and selfish as it sounds that’s what I desire, as a Narcissist.

But if “knowing is half the battle,” then it’s certainly possible to win the other half of the battle. Right?

Since admitting being an N., my perception of life has exponentially changed. I now allow myself Narcissistic Injuries–as opposed to avoiding life–and expect that, after doing so, my inner self will immediately react like an screaming infant. With exception to extended pauses and strange facial contortions, I often interact like a “normal person.” The thoughts and feelings of others are becoming more and more important to me. Reciprocity of human emotion–not conversational and metaphysical dominance–is my objective while socializing. I relapse and reach for and get Narcissistic Supply, but I’m aware of it–at the time I’m doing it, sometimes. Women still call me cute, though now an image of a little red flag pops into my mind afterward.

The world is a big place but it’s not mine, and, now that I continually give up the desire to have it, I can finally live in it.