Some of my friends are wondering why I’m not in a real relationship with a girl. Well, to be quite honest, it’s because I’m gay. Just kidding.
I’ve thought of that myself. I love girls as does every teenage male — both physically and emotionally. However, I can’t see the point in starting a relationship with one at this point of my life.
Highschool relationships are pointless, to put it simply. Why invest time, energy, and emotions in something that won’t last more than a year (at the most)? You invest all your emotions in one person, only to lose the person shortly after. Why even start a relationship if you know there’s going to be an emotion shit-fest when it’s over?? Just avoid it all together.
“But Brian, my friend has been going out with this girl for 3 & 1/2 years, so your statement about them lasting only a year is false! lol”
The longer the HS relationship, the worse off you’re going to be. If your HS relationship has lasted more than 3 years, than it’s at it’s clingy stage. That is, you’ve been with that girl for so long you couldn’t possibly imagine breaking up with her. Well, my friend, it’s going to happen. It’s inevitable. HS relationships weren’t meant to last, and only a small handful of HS lovers actually have a lasting married relationship. The longer you stay with a girl, the more it’s going to hurt when you break up. Simple as that.
That’s why friends-with-benefits is a great idea. In theory, it should work. HS friendships last much longer than romantic ones. Therefore, if you form a strong friendship with a girl and leave out all that mushy “we’ll always be together” crap, and incorporate hugs, kisses, or sex (if you aren’t against premarital sex), then in theory, the relationship would last as long as a good friendship would, and you’d still get physical benefits of a romantic relationship.
“wOOt, Brian, I found a flaw in your logic! Friendships also end, and there’s emotional hurt in them as well!”
True. But haven’t you noticed that when two friends fight, they almost always get back together? With romantic relationships, a few screw-ups, a few rough moments, and the relationship is over. Friendships have a much better chance lasting than pure romantic HS relationships (and most are just PURE ROMANTIC FEELINGS etc).
Of course, FWB relationships probably don’t work out, seeing as how the girl would eventually want to form a real romantic relationship after a while (they like the idea of commitments, even if they know deep down inside it ain’t gonna’ last more than a year). And then you’re stuck in the whole HS relationship thing. It’s better to just avoid HS relationships all together, maybe.
February 9, 2007 at 4:23 am
You are a total idiot.
You think that HS relationships are pointless? So you’re saying not get involved in that world of relationships?
Remember your first one? Didn’t know what the hell you were doing? Made a ton of mistakes, not knowing what to do? Thats what HS relationships are for. Of course, not all of them work out, more don’t than do. But it’s like that out of high school.
You wanna wait to college, or adulthood to actually date? And be a total relationship virgin? (not sexually, emotionally) You make mistakes, and get hurt for a reason, so you know, “shit, I shouldn’t have done that.”
Youth = Lust
It’ll always be like that. Get over it.
February 24, 2007 at 8:38 pm
I disagree. Today is mine and my GFs 6 month, and were going strong so far. However, the average relationship length at hour HS is 2 weeks, so i think were doing pretty good. The reason is we WERE FWB for about a year before we actually got into a relationship, so we learned eachothers ins and outs and what ticked the other off and basically everything in that year. And then we got into a relationship, and since both of us love arguing, i think we’re good. So my personal opinion is your WRONG!
March 10, 2007 at 3:21 am
Oh yeah, well I think your FACE is wrong! Oooohhh, what NOW???
But in all seriousness (and honesty), how long do you think your relationship will last? If you’re realistic and come to the conclusion that it won’t last forever, are you prepared to handle the emotional shit-fest that is inevitably going to proceed the breakup? Is your GF? If so, then it’s all good.
If you and your GF are prepared to face the fact you will (likely) break up, then a lot of problems can be avoided..
Just my opinion.
Thanks for the comment, foo’
-Brian
March 10, 2007 at 3:36 am
Oh, and Chaz, you’re a dumbass. No offense, it’s just a fact. If you learn to cope with your social disability, then I’m sure things’ll work out just fine.
Just kidding.
I like the idea of HS relationships being practice relationships, but chances are, the girl I’m dating isn’t going to think like that. Therefore, I’m going to be stuck pretending I actually give 2-squirts-a-piss about the relationship, and thus feel awkward and fake. I have no problem being fake, but eventually it gets old. I’m not as emotionally developed/powered as some of my peers, so I can’t jump into a relationship heart fist. My brain gets in the way.
About your “Youth = Lust” statement: Yes, I agree — lust in inevitable in youthful relationships. However, if it’s the only thing that motivates you to enter relationships, you’re off to a bad start. Lust is great for FWB, yet totally inappropriate for “serious” relationships.
If you wanted to chill with a girl simply to give/get sex, then FWB is the way to go. However, entering a relationship with the “omg i wnna fuk her shes so hottxxx” frame of mind, it’s just going to be difficult. That is, difficult pretending you actually care about her.
Just my take. I’m still right, though.
April 19, 2007 at 12:42 am
Lol. this is rediculous
March 29, 2008 at 3:59 am
hmm honestly i cant decide whos right im in HS right now and deciding myself but all of the girls seem to have bfs. Makes me mad sometimes but i cant decide wether i should even try or not but i think i have came to the conclusion to try it… mostly because of the saying “nothing ventured nothing gained.” Ill probelbly wait till atleast Junior year though i want it to last…
April 4, 2008 at 12:44 am
Yo bob, just go for it. I wasted so much fucking time worrying whether some girl liked me and concocting so many plans to seduce her into my web of sexiness that I forgot to start basic.
Eventually I found out the first girl I actually LIKED in 6 years “wasn’t interested in a relationship” (translating: “I think you’re a dick, but I’m going to phrase my answer in such a way that it doesn’t offend you”)
So, don’t waste your time worrying. The longer you hold back, the more depressed you’ll be wondering if you have a chance. Don’t wonder – just fucking make the move. If they don’t – oh well, their loss
May 1, 2008 at 4:47 am
Bob your a fucking dumb piece of shit your just saying this because you cant get anyone so you make yourself feel better by saying that there is no point
also like the other guy said HS relationships are like testing grounds to see what relationships feel like and get a frame work for what they will be like in the future
June 11, 2008 at 1:05 am
i acually agree with Chaz cuzz
i dunno like HS relationships are
for learning basically i mean
not many of them last but they
teach u how to treat a girl. and stuff
so when u reach the real dating stage u
know what to do and u don’t get all shy and
stufff
June 19, 2008 at 4:19 pm
bloghopper stop being a little pussy
do you want to look like a fool later in life making the childish mistakes with your girlfriend that should have happened in high school?
stop basing your life on fear of rejection and gain a little self esteem for FUCK SAKES
June 19, 2008 at 4:20 pm
errr not bloghopper my bad
whoevers the little scum who started this
April 7, 2009 at 1:52 am
yeah i agree. HS relationships are just for fun. The sooner both girls and guys learn that, the better. Yeah, learn from them and enjoy the fun of them. Don’t go in thinking it won’t last, but also don’t go in thinking it will last. Keep a friend or two who are very blunt who will frequently remind you that you are getting too wrapped up in your little HS relationship. Wait a while to find your husband or wife cause believe me no one in HS is gonna be prepared to deal with your crap all the time. FWB is definitely the way to go in HS.
June 16, 2009 at 10:23 pm
I agree with you!
This is exactly how I feel, it’s just pointless. No relationship is ever going to last in high school, and it’s just so stupid. Why don’t people focus on their studies more than wasting time chasing the one they like? If they don’t like you, what are you going to do? Cry every single day? And even if they do like you, you guys are never going to last for more than a month, honestly.
Yes, I know there are those special others, like probably 5%, that have relationships which last after high school, but it’s very unlikely. However, if you are one of those lucky 5%, then good for you.
All in all, relationships in high school never last long, and I don’t care if you disagree (which most of you will), but it’s the truth.