Summer has to be better than this…

Okay, I shall begin with this:

Since the end of last summer, I’ve been pumped about this one. 

Well, now it’s here, and I don’t know what to do…

I’ve got a couple things planned, and here they are:

1. Computer camp: Each summer, Ivan’s parents send him off to some summer camp to keep him out of trouble (he hangs out with me, remember?). Anyway, this year, he was going to a computer camp, and begged me to come along. I’m like, “Now way, man! Like my mom’s just going to send me off to some obscure computer camp…”

Ivan: Dude, yes — come! It’s only $650! 

Brian: I don’t think so.

I suck

If there's one thing I hate about me, it's my lack to finish anything I start.

I always get great ideas and then start something amazing only to become bored with my projects. I'm always doing this, and I've been doing this since I was 7.

It all began with Legos. I'd watch a movie (ie Star Wars) and build a ship — well, at least 1/2 of a ship, and then I'd get bored with it and trash it. I'd only finish a couple of my Lego projects, and when I did, they were marvelous. Looking back, I'm surprised I could make such things with my extremely limited supply of Legos.

At age 10, I produced my own comic series entitled "Bad Cop." He was this corrupt cop who went around killing PBS Kids characters, such as Barney. He always carried around an immense arsenal of death in his trench coat, and his face was always covered by his hat. Yes, I know, I was/am a pretty disturbed kid, but what can I say. 

Anyway, by the time I finished (yes finished!) my 3rd Bad Cop episode, a few of my little psycho friends thought it was hilarious. So I made more. The only problem was I had to force myself to finish them, and as a result, the endings were really sloppy and abrupt. Every time I was half way done with one of my comics, I'd think of a better idea and then halt my current project. 

Anyway, that was a while ago. Now my little hobby is Flash 8, a program that is designed to build the little web-browser games/movies you play/watch on http://www.newgrounds.com. I can do just about anything I want with it, which makes things even harder for me. I've only completed/published 1 game, and I've started a hundred and two. As of now, I'm working on my first cartoon which is going too well. I'm also half way done with the cartoon-based game, which I'm doing at the same time. Well, as you've guessed, I'm getting REALLY bored with these projects, and I've got a million other ideas in my head. This time, however, I'm actually going to complete them, and I'm going to force myself to do a good job.       

Well, after contemplating all this, I've come up with a disturbing question: Am I going to be this way the rest of my life? If so, is this going to destroy my dreams of becoming an animator/artist/game developer? If I have major trouble finishing my projects, how is this going to affect my career life? ARRHHHGGG!

It's so annoying!

WordPress makes me happy.

EDIT: Um, for some reason, this post decided to randomly display. This was the first post I intended to show, but it never got posted due to some errors with wordpress. Well, now it's here.  

Hello. This was at first an experimental WordPress blog, but now it has evolved into something much different: A blog dedicated to me posting thoughts and contemplations I normally wouldn't on Blog Hogger. As a matter of fact, I'm considering moving Blog Hogger over to wordpress.  More later, fecal brains.  

I love judgemental people.

 People are so stupid and predictable*. It's a known fact that people judge. Some people judge because they think they have everything (or many things) figured out, and everyone judges because its a natural instinct. People judge you on how you dress, how you wear your hair, what kind of music you listen to, what kind of movies you watch, what kind of internet sites you read, what kind of games you play, what kind of sports you play, what kind of friends you hang out with, and your speech patterns (there is a million other things people judge you on, of course). Of course, just because people judge doesn't mean they are necessarily wrong…but most of the time they are.

Of course, some people judge a little more than the rest of us do. Some people believe they actually have the authority to judge other people. These people usually judge you within the first few minutes of observing you and automatically come to a conclusion. They leave little room for other possibilities. These people tend to be somewhat weak minded (in my opinion [after all, I'm intellectually superior to everyone ] ). Let's call these people "uber-judges." Many of these "uber-judges" come from isolated communities and/or environments, and many of these people are either religious or political in the true lockstep fashion (I probably didn't use 'lockstep' in the right way).

Personally, I can't stand these types of people, and I enjoy "messing" with them. For instance, if I know someone is an uber-judge (because I judged them), I sometimes might act a certain way to make them categorize me immediately, and then later completely destroy their perception of me. I know, it probably isn't fair of me, but I do it anyway cuz' I can't stand people who close their minds off to other possibilities.  

You know what, I think I love being judged. I think I'm going to pierce my lip (for real). That would be awesome. I'm sure a lot of my friends would think that's against my nature, but in reality, my nature is always changing (depending on what mood I'm in).    

*NOTE: I say so many people are stupid and predictable because you can act a certain way and someone automatically labels you (and rarely considers other possibilities).

I’m all happy now!

Okay, yesterday was a really weird day for me emotional wise. I began the day in an angry mood, and around noon, I hung with a couple of friends, which seemed to help.

Now I'm much gooder.  

Oh yeah

My profile song pretty much sums up what I feel right now.

Brian’s angry smash-fest.

Okay, so I got home late last night from a dinner with some friends. I flop on my bed, and go to sleep with my pants on. I wake up around 6:20 AM, and stumble out of bed. I do 50 push-ups, and 30 sit-ups. I log onto my computer and check out some blogs. My dad flings himself out in a panic and tells me to get off the computer and get ready for Mass.

It's 7:02.

I get dressed for Mass, brush my hair, and get in the van.

After mass, I come home and lay in my bed for around 20 minutes. I feel kind of depressed. I get out of bed, log onto the computer for the second time. I decide to walk to our not-so-tree fort — which contains xbox, PS2, PS1, and Dreamcast — and proceed to check out what my brother is doing. When I get there, controllers are on the floor, discs are everywhere, and the place is a mess. 

After bludgeoning my brother to a pulp (just cuz' I felt like it), I MADE him clean everything up. I walk inside.

I'm not sure why I posted the above information, but one thing is for sure:

I'm pissed off, angry, and overly-aggressive. I doubt the above has anything to do with this, but just the same, I'm pissed off, angry, and overly-aggressive.

I seriously feel like TAKING A FOLDING CHAIR AND SMASHING OUT A CAR WINDOW. Why do I feel this way? I feel like getting in a fist fight, or upsetting my dad for no reason. I feel like making a whole lot of drama.    

I also kind of feel like hanging out with friends at the mall, but I'm not sure that would be a good idea. I'd just get in a fight or snap at someone.

I'm usually a nice person.

I think I'll post on my blog…maybe that will help.  

Must…have…sun…

It’s so cloudy outside…

*randomly bangs head on keyboard*

I hope summer is as good as it should be this year. When it rains nonstop almost all summer, you know there must be something wrong with this place…

I’m moving somewhere sunny…somewhere dry…somewhere where there’s a huge city. To be honest, I love big liberal cities. I feel like I fit in. I don’t know. All I know is that the cloudocity needs to end.

God loves this blog.

This is a new blog. Should this be Blog Hogger? Leave Feedback or I'll blow up a retirement home.

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